


Crowned Heart

by meiqis



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV), 创造101 | Produce 101 (China TV), 火箭少女 | Rocket Girls (Band), 우주소녀 | Cosmic Girls | WJSN
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Drugs, Excessive Drinking, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, The Royals AU, idek what else to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-24 16:21:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15634326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meiqis/pseuds/meiqis
Summary: In a world that is all about standing with your head raised and your back straight, Meiqi is all but a perfect princess - trying to drown out all her insecurities and shortcomings with drinks and drugs, unable to accept her childhood friend Zhengting without any conditions tied to their relation, needing the unusual ways of protection her bodyguard Yanjun has to offer, faced with old problems and new desires when she meets her best friend Fu Jing for the first time in yearsaka who doesn't need Meitingjingjun in a The Royals setting





	Crowned Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Athene made me do it but I love my superior wife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drugs are bad blabla I don't have the least clue about how mdma affects you so google be blessed but I don't recommend trying this at home  
> I didn't write this in one go so I excuse for the mess of it too

Inhale and exhale, over and over again, she didn’t even notice how she nearly burnt her fingers when she hit the end of her spliff, the heat hitting her with delay but enough of a sign to lower it, flicking it into a half empty glass of water, water that was as dark as the one right in front of her, just a few meters down, black beneath the night sky, only the far end was illuminated by small lights, little lamps hidden between beautifully arranged flowers, looking pretty and bright, they were so perfect, perfect like her older brother, it was the opposite of what she was, all shades and darkness, all sitting in her dim corner, shaded by trees and falling leaves, the only light coming from the little flame born from the metal tool in her hands, fire that burned hot, was a contrast to the cold water she wanted to dive into, drown inside, just wanted to get swallowed, disappear beneath the surface and away from the world surrounding her.  
The flame was already lit, her fingers still empty, looking for another joint, looking for the means that would help her escape this world in which she couldn’t just asphyxiate herself in water, because sex, drugs and rock’n’roll, that seemed to be an accepted lifestyle for those born rich and royal, but god forbid she drown herself, that would ruin her family, would ruin the crown, it made her sneer at the thought while she fumbled with the little box holding her weed and doobies, wanting to find another one, wanted to seek refuge in a world that was all fun and clouds, was nothing like the pain still hurting her heart, her whole body aching with each little beat of that organ.  
Her fingers finally worked open the little metal tin, closed around one of the jollies prerolled, ready to light the tip, when the flame was snapped close by the Zippo’s lid right in front of her eyes, a finger remaining there as if to tell her not to do it, that she wasn’t allowed to, and she was so close to telling her brother off, her brother who always closed her lighter, told her not to smoke, not to do drugs, not to drink, her brother who was all perfect and pretty while she was a wilted flowers in the corner, it took her some moments to realize Xukun never came to this spot.  
“Don’t do this again, Mei,” a voice reminded her gently, pushing down her hand, another weight settling on the Hollywood swing, making it move back and forth, making her drop the singleton created for her alone just to entwine their fingers instead, thumb brushing against her skin to calm her down while she could only hide her face between her knees, legs pulled against her chest, she wanted to hate this situation, wanted to hate him, but in the end she could only hate herself and the tears welling up in her eyes.  
“Mei,” the voice called out again, familiar, all too familiar, she had heard this very voice since she was a child, had grown up listening to it, the only person who always called out for her, in times of bliss and joy, on days dark and dim, the voice that had called her on nights where she thought it might finally be the end for her, when she thought she’d see the light at the end of the tunnel but instead of an angel she had seen a face she loved more than anything else, and she had woken up in a tight embrace again and again, with messed up looks and reeking of alcohol and cold smoke, with sweaty skin bare to the touch, a tight embrace that was the only thing able to calm her down when she just wanted to punch a wall.  
“‘ut up, Zheng,” she muttered against her skin, mouthing against her knee, she didn’t dare to look at him, not when she knew what was to come, that she wouldn’t be able to hold back when seeing him, that she’d end up spilling all these tears she was so desperately blinking away, rolling her eyes in an attempt not to cry, tried to free her hand again when the grip of fingers on hers was all that seemed to be able to steady her that night, wanted to light another joint once and for all but she wasn’t allowed to, was still held down, and instead of being let go of, she felt her body being pulled forward, hurled against another frame until her ear was pressed against his chest, could hear a heartbeat echoing inside a warm chest, a contrast to the chilly air, because the world was filled with contrasts, because contrasts and opposites were all to ever exist.  
“Mei,” the voice said again, gentle and soft and caring, always so caring, it made her sob for all of a moment, soothed down by lips pressing against her head, kissing her golden curls, wanting to spread warmth and love and reassure her again and again, “Baby… You’re not at fault, you’re not lacking - you shouldn’t do this to yourself anymore…”  
“No, I’m not lacking…” And that was the problem, she had figured as much already years before, she had been born on the right date, she had been healthy in her childhood, she was pretty and sexy and could get whoever she wanted but all she had wanted had been out of reach, slipping further and further away from her, until she had only been able to hold onto air while Zhengting held onto her, steadied her, grounded her, and she pitied her tiny heart, always helplessly beating fast for him, craving his touch and attention and love, she just craved to be close to him, hid her face against his stomach too hard for her liking and with fabric so perfectly smooth, could feel every breath, could hear her metal tin falling close, could feel the cold touch of a tequila bottle against her toes as she shifted her position, nearly knocking it over and down the swing. “And it’s because I’m not lacking that he-”  
“Meiqi!” This time around the tone was sharper, made her flinch lightly as she felt the aggression in his voice, could sense his urge to apology, ready to stumble into words about not being allowed to yell at a royal, not having wanted to scold her, and then he remembered again, that she hated it, not being treated like an equal, as if she was a figurine of glass, only to be admired inside bulletproof cases, not to be touched, not to be loved, and she felt his sigh, felt how his muscles relaxed right beneath that thin shirt of his as she wrapped her arm around his waist, trying to be even closer when she couldn’t, because they had already become one before, couldn’t be parted, couldn’t be separated, but everything else could, could be torn right out of her hands. “Baby… Even if he wasn’t lacking- if Xukun had been born on the same day as you, it wouldn’t change the current situation, Mei… So stop blaming him and you and everything when we both know that you don’t hate him.”  
Because she couldn’t hate him, her own brother… But her fingers digging into Zhengting’s waist must have told him how much she disliked his words, that he could read her, poured salt into wounds only he was able to see, all the scars on her heart and mind, it really was too much.  
“Yanjun said you didn’t cry yet… When will you stop drowning yourself and just talk to me instead like you always did before,” the older said softly, soft, because that was all he ever was, gentle and soft and caring, he cared for her, held her heart so gently in his hands to protect her, from herself more than the evils in this world, and so it was no wonder, had never been, that it was always him to come for her, find her at nights when she felt bad, find her at their secret place, that it was him to first steal her heart and never give it back.  
Before… It seemed like such a distant time when he phrased it like this, all these carefree days of their childhood, running around the way too big yards, screaming and yelling and playing catch, times when she hadn’t ever considered the burden of the crown, times where she hadn’t worried about her twin brother because she hadn’t understood anything, times where she had just laughed and fallen and tackled Zhengting into the grass, all these months and years of exploring when they were teenagers, meeting at this very Hollywood swing, smoking cigarettes and drinking wine, kissing and making out, losing their clothes and confessing their love, she couldn’t even remember when it had changed, when she had stopped talking about what bothered her while also knowing that whether she said it out loud or not, he would always know what troubled her, he had this odd power, could read her as if she were an open book and to him she probably also was.  
“What am I supposed to talk about, Zheng?” She whispered slowly, hesitated for a moment before moving to sit up, to look at him even when his worried expression was thrusting daggers into her heart, making her ache all over again, for different reasons this time around, moving her free hand up to slowly caress his cheek, stroking his skin as she tried to find the right words, felt sober and down all of a sudden, felt reality hit her like a slap to the cheek, like a gush of cold water right into her face, wasn’t able to remain in a world of drugs and drinks when seeing his somber face. “That Xukun- He… He’s what they all want, isn’t he? He is what Zhangjing always was and Zahngjing, he… he…”  
She rolled her lips between her teeth, tilted back her head, tried to get rid of tears all over again, it was nonsense, if she could cry anywhere, she knew it would be his arms, his embrace, could feel it even right then, as Zhengting moved closer, wrapped his arm around her waist, pressed his lips against her neck, her jaw, cheek and temple, before he pulled her down, until her face was pressed against his shoulders and sobs shook her up, setting free emotions bottled up for days and weeks and months and years, emotions she didn’t dare to talk about and wouldn’t either, if not for this place that held all their memories and love, memories of a first kiss on a warm spring day, she remembered it clearly, she had asked him what it was like because his life was so much more free than hers, and Zhengting, playful as ever, had offered to kiss her if she wanted, and that day must have sealed the deal, she could still taste the strawberry cake they had shared moments before their kiss when she thought back to it and she could still relish in the feeling of warmth that had spread throughout her body that day.  
It was the same kind of warmth filling her up now, replacing cold and hurt as she sobbed against his neck, one hand pressing hers, another brushing down her hair, while she could do nothing but cling onto his back, digging her nails into his shoulders as she looked for support, feeling as if she was slowly breaking down while all that kept her up was merely his proximity, his hands holding onto her, his kisses against her head, his sweet little whispers and confessions of nothing, and it made her miss old days, days in which they had still been a couple, days in which everyone had thought they would last, days in which she hadn’t turned into a wreck, where they had broken up for their own sanity while still being in love, and it was this love that kept them stuck, that had them spending nights together, going for dinner and dates, he was the only one to know to find her in their little spot and the only one to keep her from breaking apart.  
Now he was the one to listen too, listening to her sobbing and crying, because her oldest brother had died less than a week ago and all she had been able to do was drink and scream and trash things in her room, had been high on drugs and taken advantage of her personal guard, because her twin brother had been announced to be crowned, and she loved him, she truly did, he was her other half but they were never complete, not born on the same day, not deserving the same amount of attention, not seen the same way by their own nation, because he was perfect and she was a wreck, because they loved him and scorned her, because he had all the attention and she only had Zhengting.  
Minutes or hours, she cried for the longest time in all of her life, staining his collar with tears and snot and spit, felt the moisture against her skin once she was able to calm down, disgusted with herself and him for making her cry, disgusted with his shirt she tugged on until he had it taken off, mutters of promising him a new one and a second one on top while shamelessly misusing it to wipe her tears and blow her nose, discarded carelessly to the ground and she could only suspect he let it go because of her tears, knew him, his love for fashion and clothes, and yet she had ruined his prized possession, just because she had cried.  
“The you who is like this, I really love it the most,” her best friend confessed, reaching up with his hands to cup her cheek, wiping away on traces of tears, mixed with mascara and glittery eyeshadow, black lines to be rubbed away, kisses planted against her forehead and down the bridge of her nose, lips pressed against hers with all the love he could express, so much unlike her who only knew to hold back.  
It made her want to laugh, hearing his words, but it only ended with a choked sound released into the air, dissolving between them as if it had never existed, was suffocated by the mood they had painted, the kind of atmosphere she had first felt when deciding to give her first time to him, giving her all to him, right at this spot, in this Hollywood swing, because it was the place to experience all of her firsts with him, even if it meant to break down. “You love the ugly me with red eyes and tasting like snodder the most? I always thought you have good taste but maybe I was wr-”  
Her words died on her tongue when feeling his lips against hers again, so gentle, moving slowly, and gradually growing deeper, with tilted heads and his hands in her neck, keeping her close as she clung to him, dug her nails into his bare skin as she moved closer, pressed her chest against his, slipped onto his lap, to do the same thing as him, to pour all her feelings, all of her heart, her love, into this single kiss, it was her only wish and desire, just wanted them to be one, to breathe the same air, their hearts to beat in the same meter, to have her lungs robbed of air and burning with the urge to inhale oxygen all over again when all she received was bits and pieces of the man she loved.  
“No,” Zhengting finally said when he pulled back, leaving her breathless, gasping for more, seeming way less affected than her and she wanted to hate him for that but the day she’d hate him was the day the world would end, “I love the you who is honest with me the most. I love the you who doesn’t pretend the most. I love the you who doesn’t shy away from looking messy in front of me because you know my feelings won’t change.”  
“I’m looking ugly,” she forced out with a tiny sob, rubbing her eyes with the behind of her hands to get rid of the remains of tears, wanting to eliminate traces of her crying but that she messed it up further, smeared around on eyeliner and mascara until there were black streaks on her wrists and likely beneath her eyes, squealing when she realized what she did, “I’m like an ugly panda…”  
“Pandas are cute,” she was corrected immediately, just before lips pressed against hers again, gentle and soothing, mutters about not wanting to kiss pandas but only her was all she was able to hear still before the world around them disappeared and all she could feel and hear and smell and see was Zhengting alone, as it had been during a night years ago, as it was with each and every night she melted into his arms and gave in to their love.

“Couldn’t you at least have tried to look proper in front of the cameras? In front of our citizens?”  
Silently, that’s how she observed both their reflections in the car window, the bit that was visible, their differences, Xukun who looked all prim and proper with his suit on and his tie knotted and hair brushed back, her brother who was still so perfect, no matter the situation, charming the country that had loved him ever since he had been a child, cooing at the nation’s sick prince, with his weak heart and frail body and beautiful features, they truly loved him, had felt with him ever since the day he was born, ever since hearing about twins not being born the same day and maybe they were one of the most unusual pairs of, growing in the same womb, at the same time, with the same speed, until her brother had hung himself on his umbilical cord and needed to be taken out, but she, she had been healthy, she had been left to be born naturally, when time was right, she was celebrated, but why pay attention to the healthy girl when there was a sick boy…  
She had always been the entire opposite, she was messy, she was loud, even now as she was supposed to look pretty and cute in front of her country, the moment she had been back into the car she had pulled off her scar, had revealed the last marks she hadn’t managed to hide, the ones low on her neck, the ones up behind her ears, she was so different, even when trying to look modest she had ended up looking a tad too sexy for her mother’s liking, her brother’s liking, and while she had tried to hide behind her bodyguard, had held onto Yanjun when her sight had been blurry from tears she hadn’t wanted to spill, had shied away from cameras by hiding behind broad shoulders while her brother attracted all the attention nonetheless, she might just have given the wrong signals all over again.  
“At least I stayed sober, didn’t I?” She laughed, reaching for the fridge inside the limousine to pull out a bottle finally, the sample sized wine, opened and half drowned within an instant while bearing with the older’s stern gaze observing her, the kind that made her shiver, made her feel like a disappointment, because when it came down to it, maybe she was just that, a disappointment, hardly even able to go through her oldest brother’s funeral without drinks nor drugs and she had wanted to, had wanted to blow her brain with some LSD or MDMA or even just some weed, anything, to be able to blunt her own feelings but it had been Zhengting, always him, staying the night with her, loving her, only to have her shower and eat, have her dress and looking pretty and putting her into the car, looking after her like he always did, making sure that she wasn’t high or on drugs or anything worse, had just handed her over to her brother as if she was some sort of dool needing to be looked after.  
“Can’t you go just one day without this?” Along with words came a hand, reaching out to take the bottle from her, and it was so predictable, but maybe it was also just that no one knew her own brother as she knew him, after all, they had shared their mother’s belly for half a year at least, they had grown up together, dresses like a couple as kids, matching outfits and yet complementary, and it had always only been her brothers to appreciate it, Xukun to tell her she looked pretty, Zhangjing to tell her they looked cute, really like a perfect match. “Zhengting had said you hadn’t cried until yesterday… Why are you still trying to hold back? Zhangjing-”  
“Don’t!” She yelled, staring at her other half with widened eyes, “Don’t mention him! He’s not around anymore, you can’t do that to me anymore!” Relief washed over her the moment she saw the car approach their house, mansion, however people wanted to call it, knocking her fingers against the window to make the driver stop, and before her brother could even react, apologize as he’d always do, rush after her, she was already moving out, her pumps left behind in the vehicle to make her way around on bare feet, cool grass beneath her soles, stumbling lightly when there were holes on the ground dug by the dogs, the kind she hadn’t been able to predict, she only went on until she was sure no one would come after her, ran until she reached the rose bushes, beautifully arranged, pitifully brown.  
Just when had her stamina decreased so much, even as she looked back towards the driveway, it wasn’t so long for her to be out of breath, but she felt hot, sweaty, felt the need to undress when there wasn’t enough to take off, could only reach for the zipper at her back, the fabric too tight, choking, air too short, breathing was so hard, she felt drowsy from too little wine and panicked by memories of her older brother, imagined to be able to hear his voice, telling her to not undress in the gardens, that she should behave, always with that laughter in her voice, affectionate and adoring, because Zhangjing was the only one to not get upset with her, he hadn’t scolded her like Xukun would have or teased her the way Zhengting usually would, and she thought she was going mad, because she heard his voice but she knew she could never hear it again.  
Instead of another round of being told off, she felt a hand cover hers, warm and rough, the skin calloused and she only needed to feel that bit to know who it was, who pulled down her hand, arms dangling down uselessly, only to pull the zipper on his own, peel her out of the black, but instead of remaining in her panties only, she felt the weight of a jacket dropped onto her shoulders, too big to be hers, filled with that scent of oranges and spice, embracing her and surrounding her while covering her bare skin from sight.  
“You’ll catch a cold when you run around naked like this,” the older reminded her, big hands soothing down her shoulders through the fabric of the suit, pulling her back until she felt her frame collide with his, sighing as arms wrapped around her waist, pulled the jacket into place, lips pressing against her ear, “And you shouldn’t even be out right now. Were you waiting for Zheng again?”  
Slowly she shook her head in denial, looked at her dress thrown over his arm, looking like a meager piece of nothing and yet it was worth thousands, worn by a princess even when she wasn’t liked by her citizens, not as favored as her brother, and with such thoughts returning, with her heart beating faster again, breathing becoming a challenge, she was quick to whip her head around, looking up into a face that was better fit on a magazine cover rather than to be her bodyguard, supporting all these rumors surrounding her, her and her pretty bodyguard who had to steady her drunk steps once too often - and that’s just the thing the public had been allowed to see.  
“No Zheng tonight,” she muttered slowly, turning her head further to press her lips against his cheek, trace his jaw, eager to reach for the bit she could without yet needing to stand on her toes, which might be one of the reasons she preferred to be seated while around her childhood friend or her bodyguard, seated or busy in bed, situations in which she didn’t need to feel so awfully small just because they needed to be giants, height that was resembling her brother’s, always making her feel too tiny without her heels on, “Just you and some little happy pills… Make me feel good tonight, Yanjun, help me out…”  
Sometimes words really could work magic, she thought, feeling how just a second later a thumb slid along her lower lip, caressing it until she opened her mouth, all that was needed, a little pill placed right on her tongue, as if he had known, as if it had been expected, predictable, but probably it had been, sweet taste of sugar as if whoever prepared those little things knew her taste, that she didn’t like her drugs tasting quite like the bad things they were, but she claimed they were good, good as was Yanjun, making her feel happy, feel good, it was all just desire and easy, it was rough and without control, it was the opposite of Zhengting and that was the appeal.  
All she needed was to swallow that pill, show him her empty tongue, and she was swept off her feet, carried quite like the princess she was, down hallways and around corners, taking minutes and more in which she had enough time to get the drug to hit her, and if any of the employees around the house wondered about her state, dressed in a jacket and nothing else, her dress hanging down his arm instead of being worn by her, then they didn’t say anything, but she could see it in their eyes, their assumptions, thinking about what it was surely looking like, that it had been them having had sex around somewhere else again, with her clothes discarded, dressed in his, and maybe it would be more credible if not her looks were still so perfectly arranged.  
Minutes passed, minutes of just pressing her face against Yanjun’s shoulder, inhaling his scent, steadying her breath and wishing to get drunk, drunk on alcohol, on pleasure, on arousal and greed, she didn’t care much, just wanted to forget the day, wanted to forget about cameras shoved into her face and all the people around, about citizens caring more about taking pictures than considering the death of a family member, the more she thought about it, the more she wondered just how she had managed to go through the day, how she had managed to bear it without breaking down because retrospectively it seemed all the worse.  
She hadn’t been able to hold onto Zhengting, hadn’t seen him since their morning after, hadn’t been allowed to lean against Xukun because of etiquette, all she had been able to do was hold onto Yanjun’s arm while walking down stairs, not sitting next to him and always filmed, all she had been able to do was hide her teary eyes behind her sunglasses and claw her trembling fingers into the seats, waiting for it to be over while trying not to become her twin’s disappointment even in public, not when she already was exactly that at home, had been caught once too often carried out of clubs by her brother’s best friend before being partnered with her bodyguard, it nearly made her laugh, thinking about it, how he was, in fact, more of a babysitter than a bodyguard, asked to keep her clean, out of trouble, and she didn’t even want to know what her parents would do if finding out just how she was kept away from all things bad - by that very god of a man delivering exactly that into her hands.  
“This house is too big…” She muttered softly when finally they reached the doors to her room, falling close behind them, and the mood seemed to change as she was carefully let down again, as she took off his jacket and hung it over a chair, felt eyes burning hot into her pale skin, revealed flesh, heard the rustling of fabric as her dress was placed somewhere, not the careless way people might expect from merely looking at her personal guard but properly arranged, she knew without looking, knew that he was waiting for her, waiting for her to undo her beautifully arranged hair that was tied into a messy bun right after, waiting for her to turn around and come back.  
And she did, approached him with an ease in her step, felt the incoming desire for affection and touch, craved to feel his hands on her while her thoughts would turn lighter, wanted to feel skin against skin, placing her palms flat against his chest, moving down slowly, feeling firm muscles beneath her fingers, hit his belt and the waistband of his pants only to pull out his shirt, button after button undone by her fingers until she could shove it off, out of the way and so very carelessly dropped to the ground, an opposite to how he’d treat his clothing and she knew that much already but she couldn’t bring herself to care.  
Slowly and while taking her sweet time to do so, she explored his body as if she didn’t do so every other week, felt his shoulders and arms, looked for his heart beating steady and calm behind his ribs, rising and sinking with every breath taken, down again, over concrete abs so perfectly cutting into his skin, sculpted hip bones, arches traced by her fingertips only to slide them to his behind, feeling his ass and, more importantly, finding the little box that contained those little happy pills, out of which another was placed on her tongue, swallowed down and as if it had been all to be waiting for, for her to down the small blue, for her to close her eyes, tilt back her head, she felt a pair of lips against hers, gentle and slow, sensual even, but it didn’t last long, turned messy and sloppy and wet all too soon, turned into chaos and greed while hands roamed her body, massaged her cheeks until she was gasping against his tongue, squeezed her breasts until she was moaning out loud, and it always seemed like magic, being able to move to the bed without stumbling over furniture and breaking their legs.  
Likely it was thanks to Yanjun, maneuvering her around her room, lifting her up only to have her settled on the bed, on his lap, and she broke their kiss, felt his hands burning marks into her skin where they rested on her hips, felt the fire burning in his eyes when he wasn’t even high, not like her, feeling carefree and relieved, not needing to care about the matters of the world in the sanctuary of her bedroom, where all she wanted to do was taste golden skin and feel hands grabbing her tight, where she wanted to kiss him and mark him and feel his revenge as he slapped her ass with every bite until it was flaming red, where she didn’t need to think about anything but pleasure and sex until she felt sore and about to pass out, with her nails leaving red streaks on solid gold and little crescents swelling in seconds.  
Her vision was becoming blurry and she wasn’t sure whether it was the drugs or arousal, fire burning through her veins as she looked down, felt hands direct her every move, and she nearly expected to see the flames consuming her flesh but instead it was covered in sweat, glistening, little droplets running down and tracing blue lines, distracting her for enough of a moment to not feel a hand moving until it was squishing her sore cheek, having her moan breathlessly as she focused again, rolled her lips, looked at the older, grinning softly. “Didn’t you know that rushing a princess isn’t quite appropriate, daddy?”  
The nickname had slipped her lips merely by accident but seemed to be enough, more than enough, for she was catapulted around, thrown onto her stomach and her hips pulled up until all she could do was gasp into the sheets she was clawing at, asking for more and wishing to break apart, feeling sensitive and hot, wanted to cool down and be set on fire all the same, all while feeling pleasure so intense, exploding like fireworks in her mind only to consume her in the end, when she didn’t know whether it had been minutes or hours, whether it was night or day, but she knew she felt the best she had in weeks and that was all she could remember when darkness engulfed her after all.

Silently Zhengting observed the situation at hand, how Meiqi had curled up beneath her blanket the way she always did after she had had sex, a habit he had gotten to know a tad too well after spending years by her side and more nights than to count in her bed, and how Yanjun was standing in the middle of the room with nothing but a towel on, hair and skin still wet from a shower he shouldn’t have visited in first place, merely because he was quite sure a bodyguard shouldn’t be fucking his princess into oblivion, but it wasn’t like he had any right to protest when he had ever so often done the same.  
“You did it again,” he stated only, sounding more calm than he would have expected of him and at this point he wasn’t even sure how to feel about this anymore, in some way Meiqi had gotten better, wasn’t hurled back by Ziyi anymore after being too drunk to walk on her own because she had been overdoing it in yet another club, wasn’t making out with strangers in bars right in front of him because she had been dared to, wasn’t caught with little colorful pills on her tongue on social media again only for their lawyer to claim it had been colored sugar, but she had also gotten worse, taking advantage of her bodyguard in ways she shouldn’t, had gotten more closed off than she had been in first place, she went to private parties and if not for him or Yanjun, god knew what the guys there would do to her, only to be able to say they had been blasting it off with their country’s princess, it had always been making him sick to the core, only being allowed to watch how they turned her into a toy, nothing but good looks and pretty legs when she was so much more, so much better than that.  
In the end, that might have been their downfall, he had refused to see her fall apart but she had wanted nothing but that, and now she had someone by her side to give her exactly that while he still tried to work against it, tried to hide her little secrets from her twin brother, from her parents, and that useless person of a bodyguard did exactly the opposite, gave her little pills and worse and got to taste her body in ways that for years had only been Zhengting’s - short, it was making him sick all over again.  
The fact that that bodyguard was indeed to die for was only making it worse, he couldn’t help but wonder about it, what Meiqi saw when looking at either of them, whether she looked for the differences or how they were alike, what had made her decide to sleep with her guard instead of enjoying her high on her own or treating him like the subordinate she seemed to regard everyone else as, and it was making him sick that he was curious, about what that man had to offer except for good looks, where he could learn from the older and what, and if it wasn’t for the person connecting them both, wasn’t for his worry about Meiqi being ruined by that man, if he had met him elsewhere, in a club, a bar, at a party, he was sure he’d have hit on him all the same, because she and he, oddly, they had always had the same taste in men.  
“Correction, honey, she did it again,” Yanjun dared to correct him, shamelessly dropping his towel as he if couldn’t care any less, and then taking his time to get dressed, whether it was to show off or just because he liked to take it slow, that was something Zhengting hadn’t been able to find out even after months now.  
“It was her brother’s funeral yesterday! And you drugged and fucked her,” he spat out, watching button after button being fixed and he was all too focused on that to notice the older approaching him, hands supported on the table trapped him against such furniture he had been leaning against, with his arms crossed in front of his chest and now face to face with someone he still wasn’t sure he could stand or not.  
“Either I give her what she wants or she gets it off the streets or in the clubs and god knows what’s in there then,” the other reminded him, with that awfully smooth kind of voice that had his fingers itching to either punch such handsome visage or pull it closer to kiss, maybe he could also do both but at another time. “But didn’t you do the same? It was you waking up in that bed just last morning after fucking- excuse me, my mistake, after making love to her, wasn’t it?”  
Slightly he frowned, watching the bodyguard for a moment as he tried to assess the situation, hated how those words might be true, the stuff Meiqi received within this room, it was still better quality than what she had been taking before, could still remember the night she had nearly overdosed because that drug might as well have been rat poison which would then have been prosecuted as quite some crime, attempted murder on royalty, and that night had nearly shredded his heart, and maybe he was a hypocrite, to tell someone off for having been in her bed when he had done just the same, except it wasn’t exactly the same because he was still in a different position compared to that guard.  
It seemed too easy to get lost in that staring contest, all challenging handsomeness against stubborn beauty, Zhengting didn’t want to cave in with that man who only seemed to wreck Meiqi further, ruined and spoiled their princess, tainted her, erased all marks of love he had left before but even those marks were useless because all the love he had wanted to offer had never been enough to cover for a member of the royal family being ignored by her own country, all because sons were more important and she was neither crowned nor weak, she was just neglected, a small child wanting love, but his love hadn’t been enough to make up for what she lacked.  
“Fuck…” He finally whispered, tilting back his head and closing his eyes, thrown back to an evening he didn’t remember, the sun setting somewhere around them while they sat in that Hollywood swing, with liquor too strong and words too harsh, a shared conclusion that they weren’t enough, that Zhengting loved too much and Meiqi still needed more and that night he had heard two hearts shatter while also craving each other more than anyone else, a night that had taken place two years ago but nothing much had changed after all.  
“Was that an offer?” A voice called him out of his memories and he would’ve punched the man right in front of him if not for the slight rustling of fabric, opening his eyes only to look towards the bed, to see her still curled up but propped onto a pillow, watching them with sleepy but beautiful eyes, with eyeshadow messed up and eyeliner and mascara smudged black along her lashes and even like that she seemed to be the most beautiful woman alive.  
“Are you going to kiss, fight or discuss a threesome now?” She asked with her voice so melodic and raspy at once, legs shuffling beneath the blanket to hint at how tired and sore they must be, and he was somewhat sure he was supposed to be jealous now, to hate the idea of someone else spending their night between porcelain thighs but, unsettling as it was, he couldn’t be when it was Yanjun.  
With a hand pressing against a strong chest, he pushed the older away to stalk towards the bed, sitting down on the edge to brush back blonde strands of hair, smiling when she smiled and watching at her face relaxing into ease, as if there wasn’t a single worry in the world, a state that would only last as long as her thoughts were still clouded by sleep. “I’m here to pick you up for breakfast, Mei. Your brother was worried about you because of your fi- because of yesterday… He wanted you to show up at the table today.”  
“Are you his dog now?” Yanjun asked from the back and Zhengting would have urged to punch him if not for that little laughter leaving Meiqi’s lips, as if those words had actually been funny, and it was still painting her lips as she carefully sat up, holding her head from the impending headache that was to come.  
“He’d be a cute dog, our Zhengting,” she smiled as she leaned forward, toppled against his chest, muttering about showers and hammering onto her brain, about being hungry and thirsty and even if he had wanted to ask for Yanjun’s help, he found the room empty safe the two of them and himself to take care of a princess alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a fan of unusual pairings and Meiting is the only het ship I've been itching to write - and Meitingjingjun is a funny ship name
> 
> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/zhengjunist) or scold me on [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/dadting)  
> Don't do drugs, they're bad


End file.
